The Joy of editing

Getting back to Fail Better and the editing process. The first edit took until the middle of February 2011. My journal is full of red ink indicating what needs to be added, corrected and taken out. There are also big ticks confirming I have made the changes.

The second edit started almost immediately with extra description throughout, and making more of what is happening with other people in Hexham when Judith isn’t present. I also added a ‘guilty secret’ to Chloe’s character – well, we all have one, haven’t we?

I’m not sure when this happened but someone asked me whether I based characters on people I know. I said no, but then thought ‘why not?’ My friend Tanya www.fearlessfeat.co.uk is petite and bright and I decided to make Chloe look and behave a bit like her (the similarity ends there, Tan, honest!) I have also named some of the characters after people I know. D.S. Doggart is a thank you to Lou for her kindness, faith and support – and loads of information.

Four edits done at the time of posting this so surely it is time to approach suitable agents? Watch this space.

3 months later . . . . . . .

Hello everyone. Another fresh start with the blog. Things have moved on so much since I wrote the blog that to go back and take up the story seems a bit retrospective.  Suffice to say that ‘Fail Better’ (current title) stands at 85 000 words and I have started to approach agents.

I have picked out some bits from my notes from my journal. On one session at Mungrisdale Writers (www.mungrisdalewriters.org.uk) our tutor asked us to list ten books that had significance to us personally or as writers. These were mine:

·         A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth – because I love it

·         Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini – a book from the point of view of men

·         A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini – a book from the point of view of women

·         Engleby by Sebastian Faulks – fairly unpleasant and weird but compelling (had a huge influence on my writing)

·         Notes on a Scandal by Zoe Heller – for similar reasons to Engleby

·         The poem Lines and Squares from When We Were Very Young by A.A. Milne – it’s to do with a teenage love affair – don’t ask

·         Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers – because it changed the way I thought about moving out of my comfort zone

·         The One Minute Manager Meets the Monkey by Ken Blanchard – people look after their own monkeys now!

·         The Mill on the Floss by George Eliot – I cried for days at the shock ending

·         Haweswater by Sarah Hall – because they don’t all need a happy ending

Since then I would add Girl Reading by Katie Ward www.katieward.co.uk – just because it’s fab and so is she. READ IT.

Which ten would you choose?

Taking a step back

I have been so caught up in Judith’s head, it’s time to take a step back and try to look at what I’ve written objectively.

Strengths   

·         Dialogue – BUT I need to check for differentiation. Would you know who was speaking just by their words or way of talking?

·         Storyline – generally strong and fast-paced

·         Pace – I feel I have got this right – everything is relevant to the story and moves it on

·         Structure and outline – I am very pleased with the way I planned it all out and know where I am going with it

Weaknesses

·         Characterisation – Judith is fine but I’m not sure that all the other people are well-enough defined

·         One anomaly about Judith – why is she like she is with her family? I think I know but need to give it a stronger basis to her actions with them

·         In the Hexham side of the story I need to show things from other people’s point of view more

·         Interest – I live in mortal fear of being boring. I don’t think it is boring, but maybe some bits are rushed where they could be slowed down and still be interesting

Padding or detail?

I am finding it difficult to write about the next stage because I am pondering on what to do with the storyline. More areas for research have come up but I can’t blog about them without giving away key aspects of the plot. Suffice to say I need to talk to a police officer or a solicitor for some clarification.

On 15^th November 2010 the Carlisle part of the story was moving along well. If I write an equivalent amount for the Hexham part I am going to end up with 81,000 words, about 10,000 short of what I am aiming for. It will be ok. As soon as I get into dialogue it all flows out so it may just be a case of going back to add more scenes, and conversations into existing ones.

The Hexham chapters can be longer anyway. Because they are written in the third person, I can add more about what other people are thinking and saying, especially about Judith.

My journal also says, ‘I wrote a death scene today and made myself cry.’

When the character takes over in an unexpected way

I am now writing the Carlisle section, set in the present time, without alternating with what happened the year before.  The reason for this is that I am finding it difficult swapping from first person present tense to third person past tense on alternate chapters. I’ll go back later to do the Hexham part of the story.

On 6^th November 2010 I made this note in my journal:

‘Oh no! I am starting to like Judith.’

Not only that, but she is starting to like her life in Carlisle; her job, the people she works with, her friend outside work, her boyfriend, and she is starting to like herself. She decides not to upset anyone any more.

I am going to be very sad when it all goes horribly wrong.

My lovely London step-daughter asked what I would like for Christmas – ‘Writers’ and Artists’ Yearbook 2011, please.

9^th November 2010

I led a lesson on play-writing with Eden Women’s Theatre Group. It was fun, they loved it and they found it useful.

Feedback and influences

On 20^th October 2010 I had my first 1:1 tutorial with my M.A. supervisor. It was a highly motivating experience. She said she was enjoying reading the story, that it flowed well, it was gripping and a page-turner. She also said she could imagine taking it with her on a train journey.

I thought that was enough of a tutorial but we actually spent the next hour talking about ways in which I could improve it.

We discussed Judith’s complex personality and why she behaves the way she does; why she is so antagonistic towards her sister and mother, and why she is so needy in her relationships with other people. I will have to do some more work on this to make sure that I know the reasons why, even if the reader never knows. She is attracted to women and I wonder whether she has lesbian tendencies. I hadn’t intended that to be the case and still don’t think it is.

We discussed how the parts I wrote in the first person contributed to the tension as Judith’s thoughts and devious plans unfold and develop.  Two books I have read recently influenced that aspect of my writing.  They were Engleby by Sebastian Faulks and Notes on a Scandal by Zoe Heller; amazing books and certainly a standard to aspire to.

I told Eliza that I found it quite demanding and sometimes exhausting writing in the first person from within Judith’s head. She referred me to some academic writing on the subject but also admitted that there wasn’t much that had been written about it from the author’s point of view. Maybe a subject for my PhD? (ha ha).

Facts or fiction

There seems to be so much research associated with every new idea. I have talked through with my ‘writing buddy’ Lizzie Gates what needs to be factual and authentic and what I can make up. Some conclusions:

·         Old artists – I can make up some names

·         Power of attorney – I need facts

·         HMRC rules – I need facts

·         Music for a school concert – I won’t specify

Lizzie has a great Writing Blog: http://authorgym.wordpress.com  

I was wondering who I could ask about Power of Attorney and couldn’t think of any friendly (free) solicitors. Then when I was visiting one of my management students at the Alzheimer’s Society in Workington I realised that she and her staff would know all about that. They discussed it with me and printed off some information too. Thanks Lou and Jackie. I have named a character after Lou – D.S. Doggart.

On 6^th October 2010 my journal entry read:
‘Today my word count reached 15,000 – that’s about a 6^th of a book.’

People are very kind. I was talking to a manager from a care home in Kendal about people suffering from dementia in old age. She sent me a book with some case studies for me to adapt and use in the book.

Two weeks later, I had increased my word count to 23,000 simply by making sure I write something every day. I am still resisting the temptation to edit as I go along. It will need to be done later but at least the story is moving on at a good pace.